sunday morning worship

Wow – a little white boy from the o.c. continues to learn the meaning of WORSHIP at the saddleback passion services on Sunday mornings 9 & 11. the 11am last week set an unreachable standard that was closely approached today !!! you must attend this service at least once a month !!!

The Sweet Uses of Adversity

-- C. H. SPURGEON 1859

Perhaps, O tried soul! the Lord is doing this to develope thy graces. There are some of thy graces that would never be discovered if it were not for thy trials. Dost thou not know that thy faith never looks so grand in summer weather, as it does in winter? Hast thou not heard that love is too often like a glow-worm, that showeth but little light except it be in the midst of surrounding darkness? And dost thou not know that hope itself is like a star—not to be seen in the sunshine of prosperity, and only to be discovered in the night of adversity? Dost thou not understand that afflictions are often the black foils in which God doth set the jewels of his children's graces, to make them shine the better.

It was but a little while ago that on thy knees thou west saying, "Lord, I fear I have no faith: let me know that I have faith." But dost thou know thou wast praying for trials, for thou canst not know that thou hast faith, until thy faith be exercised.

Lord may my trials be Yours. Develope my graces Lord. Lead me through adversity to faith renewed. SW

little sins

by GUTHRIE--

Be fearful of little sins. Take alarm at even an evil thought, wish, or desire.

These are the germs of sin -
the floating seeds which drop into the heart,
and, finding in our natural corruption a fat and favorable soil,
spring up into actual transgressions.

These, like the rattle of the snake and the hiss of theserpent,
reveal the presence and nearness of danger.

The experience of all holy men proves
that sin is most easily crushed in the bud,
and that it is safer to flee from temptation
than to fight it.

Lord let me vigilant.

a traitor knows

"A traitor, when he knows the thorough villainy and the blackness of his own heart, cannot help being astounded, when he is forced to believe another man to be faithful." C. H. SPURGEON 1865

This is why the devil hates Job. And it is faithfulness that brings him down on me. But it is faith alone that brought me life. Lord give me the strength of Job. Lord let me be faithful.

* 40 days of community *
our group prepares to serve the community by going to offer fellowship to Convalescent home residents.

The book of our flesh

"He considers our sinful flesh, and makes it one of the books in which he diligently reads. One of the fairest prospects, I doubt not, which the devil's eye ever rests upon, is the inconsistency and the impurity which he can discover in the true child of God. In this respect he had very little to consider in God's true servant, Job." C. H. SPURGEON 1865.

I hear God telling me in the story of Job that the devil knows me as well as He. My only defense is to stay, as much as I can, in His presents; to grow ever more attached to the vine.

Contradicton: the more i consider stand for Him, the clearer target my weaknesses become (the "fairest prospects" of my flesh) for his evil work.

Yet Job Stands.

call, raise or fold ?

When do we decide to move on?
When do we decide to stick it out?
When do we decide to stand and fight for change?
How do you know the answer?

I am currently in a frustrating situation.

Is God asking me to be bold?
Should I try to fix it by speaking up & making my dissatisfaction known?

Does God want me to be patient?
Or is He asking me to accept the situation & be supportive?

Lord grant me the courage to change the things You cannot accept!!
SW

Check this out...
“It takes a church” is a cool blog.
http://bolsinger.blogs.com/

40 days of basic
water: glass of wine w dinner, coffee after
brkfst: pancakes & sausage
lunch: sand & fruit
dinner: Italian in downtown l.a. with relatives
snack: popcorn
exercise: little bit a yard work

**My Daily Read - Job 11**

7 "Can you fathom the mysteries of God? Can you probe the limits of the Almighty? 8 They are higher than the heavens-what can you do? They are deeper than the depths of the grave-what can you know? 9 Their measure is longer than the earth and wider than the sea.” Job 11:7-9

Why do I try to make sense of suffering. Because I place a higher value on knowledge than faith. True faith require trusting when the answer I not yet known. Lord, give me the strength to act in faith. Lord, give the patients to wait for your answers.

reveal

1"I can't stand my life--I hate it!-I'm putting it all out on the table, all the bitterness of my life--I'm holding back nothing." Job 10:1

Letting it all out
is the antidote to bitterness.

Revealing it all
is the remedy to anger.

Telling it like it is
voids resentment.

Opening it up to the light
is the cure for hate.

Letting, revealing, telling, opening
Are signs of trust

To heal, to restore, to mend, to repair,
Are signs of love.

So, make known & heal
Disclose & restore

Give way, let drop, inform
Hold nothing back.

Reveal.

SW

* 40 days of basic *
water: 1 beer
brkfst: none
lunch: blt & fruit
dinner: pork, mac & cheese, broc
snack: bowl of cereal
ex: painting bedroom
sleep: 1230sat-830sun
scripture: Job 10 (see above)

Barriers vs Boundaries

Barriers have height. They keep people away.
boundaries are lines on a map. They lie flat, and may be stepped on or over.

barriers are designed so that they don't require guarding. They are impenetrable.
boundaries must be posted. Some may enter. Others may visit. Others are turned away.

barriers create isolation.
boundaries create sovereignty; safety; serenity.

i must tear down my barriers.
i must monitor my boundaries.


40 days of basic
water: 1 coke
brkfst: pastry
lunch: burg & fries
dinner: cr burg, beans, salad
no snacks (woopie)
ex: zip
sleep 11-7 (eight hrs)
(luke warm at best)

"He speaks to the sun and it does not shine; he seals off the light of the stars." Job 9:7

if god were fair, we would never be allowed in his presents. this should be the starting point when i consider what i deserve.

lord i dont understand, but i know !! i know that you are faithful !!

40 days of community

40 days of Community - Wednesday Group

From Corinthians 13:7
Love always protects
Love always trusts
Love always hopes
Love always perseveres

Of these, “love always protects ... perseveres” really hits home. Past gossip has made a safe place into a lie. Hurts are a fact of life for those called to love by Jesus. But they run so deep when committed by ones so deeply trusted. This is a new group & a new start.

40 days of basic
water: 2 diets
brkfst pastry
lunch 2 slices of pizza
dinner: bk burger & fries
snack: choc chip cookie
exercise: listening to game on radio

sleep: 1145tue-700wed
What a lazy donkey!

14 “What he trusts in is fragile; what he relies on is a spider's web. 15 He leans on his web, but it gives way; he clings to it, but it does not hold.” Job 8:14-15

I must let loose of all else, then only can I hold fast, with both hands, to God. SW

taming the mind

conditioning... taming the mind... bring it under control.. breaking it in... getting it ready... in shape...

to prepare the mind... but how??by instruction... coaching... tutoring... schooling... guiding... by being taught... accepting the wisdom of a teacher...

but to prepare the mind for what??

to capture every thought... every... e.v.e.r.y thought... i cant afford to give the devil a foothold !!! discipline... strength... endurance... knowledge...

yes...conditioning !!!

40 days of basic
water: 1 diet coke, 1 oj rest h20
brkfst: egg mc sand, hash bwn, decaf
lunch: cheese burg fry & the diet
dinner: chicken rice broc & water
snack: 1/2 bag popcorn
exercise: moving furniture (lame)
sleep: 12mon-7tue
scripture: job 7

"19 Will you never look away from me, or let me alone even for an instant?" Job 7:19

like any good parent, the father knows where his children are. like the drill sergeant, he uses every waking moment to train & impart his knowledge & discipline... knowledge & discipline that may save this life or anothers.

sometimes i would like to take a break from this training... but conditioning will pay off... when others fall away... those that find their strength in him will finish well... this is my hope ... this is my faith. SW

hunch back of northern irvine

we just moved all our furniture out of the three bedrooms and the livingroom into the dinning room & kitchen. all in the name of cleanliness. Purpose: de-CAT-ta-tro-phize-a-tion of the carpeted flooring areas after two years of infestation. The little men in little white suits come tomorrow bearing their long white hoses. The we move it all back again tomorrow. uggg.

The dog is giving me that, "what are these stupid humans up to now?", look. He's right!

40 days of basic
water: 1st day, no caffine
brkfst: granola bar
lunch: twix
dinner: enchilada, taco, rice beans, lemonade
sleep: 12sun-7mon
ex: movin stuff

14"A despairing man should have the devotion of his friends, even though he forsakes the fear of the Almighty. 15 But my brothers are as undependable as intermittent streams" Job 6:14-15

Job was disappointed by his friends. He expected them to understand what even he could not. Disappointment often comes to me when my expectations are not communicated clearly. After all, Job could have said, "I know you are trying to be helpful, but right now I just need your compassion more than your advise. " Good friends are patient supportive & accepting of clear communications. SW

simply to risk

The gospel choir always lifts my spirit at 9am worship. Some times I am too moved to sing. The message was solid… on relationships & intimacy… (Tim must be looking ahead... or maybe Pastor Rick has a spy in Friday group).

My part in achieving intimacy is simply to risk it… and keep risking it… within healthy boundaries… and finding a way to forgive the hurts that will always accompany a life of intimacy. This is the life of love that I am challenged to follow.


40 days of basic
water: I found a hidden coke
breakfast: none
lunch: grilled cheese on sourdough
snack: popcorn
dinner: Mary’s in a cooking mood-her folks for dinner--
meatloaf, asparagus, baked potato w/ sour cream,
pumpkin pie & whip cream (ouch)
exercise: moving furniture (backs killing me) for carpet cleaners Tuesday
sleep: 1230-745
ok – back to the grind – after all this is about being disciplined.

"But if it were I, I would appeal to God; I would lay my cause before him. 9 He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted. Job 5:8

Job gets so much poor advice, although well intended… his friends arrogantly assume Job suffers because he is guilty. But aren’t we all guilty. Yet God blesses us.

But here, Job’s friend strikes gold… even though he is wrong about Job… he is right about God. SW

wash the dog day

Misty rainy day... wash the dog... a little house work... a little shopping... evening with friends

40 days of baisc
water: finally out of cokes
breakfst: mary made ciche & sausage
lunch: beer sand & last of chips
dinner: wow home made enchiladas beans rice
snack: two small brownies
exercise: ?washing the dog?
sleep: 1130-730


7"Stop and think! Does the innocent person perish? When has the upright person been destroyed? Job 4:7

Why does God allow the innocent to suffer? I dont know. But I believe his promise to use all to his good purpose in the end. SW

remembering the light

"The Bomber" 1969 Ford LTD

Amazing what $800 dollars could bring.

REMEMBERING: In the day, gas finally went over a dollar. Outrageous! Got 12mpg! With rationing, & gas lines we filled it up every other day. Besides getting all four kids, their stuff, mary & I into this bucket, I once put a full 8x10 sheet of plywood inside & drove it home. New sofa & love seat, on problem, just tie em on top. I took the kids to see Star Wars at the drive in this star ship. There was a moment of panic when suzi slipped down onto the back seat floor under her blanket and we couldnt find her. On one outing with friends, we carried 4 full size adults, & six kids with room to spare. One of my favorite pictures was "The Bomber" parked on top of the big redwood at Sequoia with all the kids hanging out the windows... seems to have gone missing... like so much of the past.

40 days of basic

water: 2 cokes

break: fast food sand & tader (bad)

lunch: subway & chips (ok)

dinner: cr burg & salad (good)

no pie at solid rock - bowl of cereal w/ TV

exercise: zip

scripture Job 3

20"Why does God bother giving light to the miserable,why bother keeping bitter people alive," Job 3:20

How many nights did i ask this question??? Job felt free to cry out his true anguish. So am I free to come to Him with anything. SW

request for information

My Purpose, point, object, end,
Function, goal, or target send
What is it Lord that you intend?
When will this awful waiting end?

My reason, object, idea, aim
When left to me has come up lame
And left me no one else to blame
For pride and lust that go untamed.

My rational, objective, function
Please mail to me with out compunction
Yes, life is but a morning mist
Still, I look & strain & twist.

So, Forward, convey, sendoff, remit
I’ll call my lawyer! I’ll file a rit!
Though naked in & out I’ll go
I must demand, right now, I know!

SW

40 days of basic
water: almost out of cokes
break: sausage egg biscuit (ouch)
lunch: dry turkey sand, chips, snapple(ok)
dinner:spagget & salad (good)
popcorn 1/2 bag
exercise: 20 min walk
sleep 1130p-715am
the word: job chp 1
end of first week:
1/2 a commitment = no commitment

"Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and nights. And no one said a word, for they saw that his suffering was too great for words." Job 2:13

There is comfort in knowing i have friends for whom silence is enough. SW

conflict vs consequences

irresponsible people are not changed by conflict. they are only changed by consequences. (paraphrase from Boundaries by Towsend)

wow... as a conflict avoider I am affected by conflict. conflict is a consequence to me. so this is a big realization... that only confronting an irresponsible person will have little effect on their behavior... wow no wonder I get frustrated. finally working up the courage... finally, desperately... confronting confronting confronting ...but no changes (insanity?).

reminds me of something my dad told me "you always need an or else, not just a complaint." now I see what he meant. according to Townsend... the purpose of a confrontation is to inform... not to demand... what I will do when my minimum requirements (boundaries) are met and what I will do when they are not met. then allowing a totally free choice (the hard part).

I have found recently that by not taking responsibility for the other persons choice, to comply or not, has given me more freedom from the fear of confrontation. that’s a good thing. SW

40 days of basic
water: 2 cokes & a little morning coffee
(if they're there, i must drink them)
break: pastry (ouch)
lunch: hot dogs w/mustard & fruit (good)
dinner: 1/2 chicken breast, taders & veggies (v.good)
no snacks (excellent)
overall food:(i will create a fail safe environment this weekend)
exercise: short walk
sleep 1130p-715a
scripture: job chp 1

"Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart. " Job 1:21
-- job never knew gods purpose. as in james our lives are like the morning mist, we cant see to far ahead, but never know what is in store... yet we do know because we have our faith.

To The Last Detail

10Take the old prophets as your mentors. They put up with anything, went through everything, and never once quit, all the time honoring God. 11What a gift life is to those who stay the course! You've heard, of course, of Job's staying power, and you know how God brought it all together for him at the end. That's because God cares, cares right down to the last detail. James 5:10

God cares about the details. So should I. That little detail about putting Him first.

40 days of basic
water: two cokes; a little coffee
breakf: cereal
lunch: ray took me to mexican (ouch)
dinner: one taco beans chips (good protion control)
no snacks
exercise: going on walk now
sleep: 1130p-745a
james chp 5 (job manana)

full disclosure

hand shake 


From Monday Night Group

honesty

its surprising how much more sensitive i am about honesty. its like when i went to Mexico... at first i was so proud of myself... i was able to converse with just my decades old high school Spanish... but as the days went by i began to realize how limited my skills were... how much accommodation others had to make for me... how i was fooling no one. then when i really needed it, my tongue failed me... i just couldn't make myself understood to the port authorities... and it took me three trips where it should have taken one.

so it seems to be with honesty... as i have continued my walk... my old sense of honesty is inadequate... i see how i rationalized... i see how i hurt others & so my self... i see that to please God I must be scrupulous about my words as well as my deeds.

now, even selling an old car, will require full disclosure (thanks for bringing that up adam)... because that will be the full disclosure of my commitment to Him. SW

Morning fog

morning mist 

Let me take it one day at a time. In this I am finding a new peace.

13Look here, you people who say, "Today or tomorrow we are going to a certain town and will stay there a year. We will do business there and make a profit." 14How do you know what will happen tomorrow? For your life is like the morning fog--it's here a little while, then it's gone. James 4:13-14

My straining to see through the mist is useless. I want to relax, enjoy a stroll, in the quiet coolness of the protecting clouds. I know my future. I just can't see it.

As for my plans? All my plans shall be in Him.

40 days of basic
water: 2 cokes; lots of water; no coffee
break: corn flakes, banana (good)
lunch: burger & fries (bad)
dinner: Chinese (sad)
exercise: none
sleep: 11p-7a
work: James chp4
Comment: must create fail proof environment
by clearing out cokes & bad stuff & making lunch.
All in all, worst day yet.

its a cool ride - with the right driver

the babe machine:

"The Rocket" of my cruisin' days circa 1968

just thought you should know.

40 days of basic

1) water: two diets.. going cold turkey for the rest of week

2) food: break= -0-

lunch: 2 dogs, chips fruit

dinner: beef boreaux(succulent cubes of beef in my secret au juice, magnafeke), taders-n-gravy, carrots, salad(total portion control was good). bonus: small piece of mary's homemade apple pie (i ask her to send it home with her folks, she cried but she did)

overall b- because of good portion control.

3) exercise: mucho yard work

4)sleep: will try for 1030pm

5)john chp 3 - "Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. 6The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. "

---

my goal for the week is to truly give over my physical cravings to christ. i have been trying to use my own power, failing miserably. ok is just not good enough. the devil still has a foot hold on my desires, waiting of my discipline to weaken and fade. im finding it so much harder this time, the inconsistency of meals at work. but i know, if i am consistent in my lord, self-discipline will be the fruit.

after all, its about health yes, but more, a healthy foundation of spiritual discipline.

motivated by love or fear?

(Thoughts from Boundries)

by love or fear?

why do you do for others?
fear of anger... fear of angry confrontation
fear that my no will bring the anger

why do you do for others?
fear of losing love, saying yes and then resenting it
giving to get, then feeling abandoned when not recieved

why do we do for other?
fear of loneliness that compels a yes
and disapoints with love not bought

love means always saying yes
never, i love you but i will not do that

trying to do enough things to hide the guilt
trying to pay back all you have been given

giving to please
to seek approval that never is enough

these are tyrany of love by fear

if you serve to get rid of your fear
you are doomed

we are called to freedom
love must be truely given
only then will the giving give

freedom results in gratitude
an over flowing heart
true love of others

freedom must come first
to do or not to do for others
with out the hidden fear
only this is love

40 Days of Basic Training
1) two diet cokes, rest h20
2)Break- egg sandwich coffee
lunch tuna sand, chips (mary made me) fruit
dinner - chicken breast rice veggies (yum)
3) exercise - walk 20 min
4) sleep - now
5) scripture 730am james ch2 doing & favoritism.

TO LET GO

To let go is not to care for,
but to care about.
To let go is not to fix,
but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge,
but to allow others to effect their own outcomes.
To let go is not to be protective.
It is to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny,
but to accept.

40 day basic training day 1
1) Scripture: James Ch1
2) Water: one 16 oz diet, rest h20
3) Food: the truth
big break eggs sauge browns toast;
lunch - turkey sand chips candy(ouch)
dinner - bowl of cherrios (make-up meal)
4) exercise: walked 10 min morning; 20 min evening
5) sleep: now (i'm going, i'm going)
grade: C-- (with candy=D+)

FINALLY -
To let go is not to regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future.

first cut

from the old SAW


hands of the carpenter 

sage enough to have seen a thing or two. sharp enough to have an opinion. teeth cut nawing on life. been dragged back & forth across a few old logs. and lost a tooth or two in the process.

but now im in the hands of a master carpenter. resharpened & oiled. ready to be put to his purpose.

lets get started. may the chips fall where the may.