TURN OVER POWER... TO GAIN CONTROL

Power & Control

These two words were keys to beginning my recovery. Without a clear understand of where I did and did not have power or control in my life, it became an unmanageable.

Power is the “power to decide.”

To me power implies ownership. I have power over what I own & what I own I have power over. This is clearly stated to me in the scriptures, “… you can not have two masters.” As a slave, one and only one person has power over you, your owner.

Control is the “control of action.”

To me control implies the ability to direct action. Control is different from power in that one can control what he does not own. An example of this is a borrowed car. Here, the owner has delegated limited powers for a given time, place and purpose. You may be at the wheel, but the owner retains the ultimate terms of use. You could not sell it or trade it in without the pink slip. You certainly wouldn’t paint it a new color or change the upholstery. Even if you did, it wouldn’t mean you had the power to do so. It would only mean you misused your control.

I was blinded by pride.

My problems came when I tried to control things I really did not have the power to; or when I did not control the things I owned. I could not recognize what owned me & what I owned. I let things go when I should have acted. I acted on things I should have let go. I was angry, frustrated, resentful, and finally depressed, guilt ridden, and alone.

Then I started to work the first step.

I began to realize how little I owned. I looked at my past for the things I really had power over, because power is a sign of ownership. And in the first question of the first book I began to see how little power I had over my life. I began to see how powerless I was.

As I began to see how little I owned, I began to realize that another owned me. There was power in my life after all. I saw so many blessings, so many times I was protected. There were so many times when I felt the presents of a power greater than myself. Now I saw that this power was the power of ownership. Now I saw that this power came from my “Owner”.

Control is a necessary part of living a healthy life.

I began to understand that my life was out of control because I had not recognized the One with the power over it. I had not recognized my “owner”, my “Master”, as the scripture says.

I gained control when I turned over power.

God has given me a free will. That means I own myself (but no one else) and have power over my own decisions (and no one else’s). I have come to understand that when my will is in alignment with His that He will supply the power necessary to carry out that will; and with that power, the control I need to live out a healthy, joyful life will abound.

RESULTS: DOWN 37 lbs

State of sobriety from 1/31/05= 147 days.
Weight as of 7am 06/27/05 = 203 lbs.
Loss for week ended 06/27/05 => 205-203 = 2 lbs.
Total diet loss 21 weeks to date => 240-203 = 37 lbs.
Average weekly loss over 21 weeks = 1.8 lbs per week.

No questions asked:

stepped on scale. 203. down two. took it to the bank. no questions asked.

SW

Happy Birthday Mary

took her shopping for new duds yesterday... mayco sale... her folks took us out to dinner... tomorrow she'll get a plane ride over the house from a friend in his little plane... yes the one well fly to alaska. SW

b-EAT-itude diet - week 20

RESULTS: DOWN 35 lbs

State of sobriety from 1/31/05= 140 days.
Weight as of 7am 06/20/05 = 205 lbs.
Loss for week ended 06/20/05 => 205-205 = zero lbs.
Total diet loss 20 weeks to date => 240-205 = 35 lbs.
Average weekly loss over 20 weeks = 1.9 lbs per week.

Form the Plateau to the Desert:

I have lost only 4 lbs in the last 5 weeks. that's an average less 1 lb per week, for the last 4 including 2 goose eggs; after averaging over 2 lbs per week for 15 weeks. Complacency may have set in, or it could be a metabolism thing. but it is apparent that i need to evaluate what i am doing & make appropriate adjustments. since jim & i will be leading a food accountability group next week, this is a perfect point to do a daily food journal to see what i am really eating.

SW

RESULTS: DOWN 35 lbs

State of sobriety from 1/31/05= 133 days.
Weight as of 7am 06/13/05 = 205 lbs.
Loss for week ended 06/13/05 => 205-205 = zero lbs.
Total diet loss 19 weeks to date => 240-205 = 35 lbs.
Average weekly loss over 19 weeks = 1.9 lbs per week.

Back on the Plateau:

I was on the saddleback men's wilderness retreat this weekend. I did a lot of walking & stayed sober on the sweets but my calorie intake was up with 2 full breakfasts, 2 full dinners, and sandwiches for lunch. So I'm back to zero for the week. This shows how sensitive my body is to intake when my outgo (exercise) is limited. Back to oatmeal, soups & modest dinners. SW

SW

Reflections from my bible readings

Luke 11-15

"But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive; he was lost and is found." (Lk 15:32)

The truth that we are denying is:

There is nothing wrong with our own true selves,
But that we have hidden behind the false belief,
That we had to be someone we were not,
That we could not be the someone that we are
And still be loved.

And still loved we are
After all we’ve done
By the one who knows the truth
And loves us still,
Now and forever.

That is the truth that we can no longer deny.

See my full reflections at www.bbstudyblog.blogspot.com

RESULTS: DOWN 35 lbs

State of sobriety from 1/31/05= 126 days.
Weight as of 7am 06/06/05 = 205 lbs.
Loss for week ended 06/06/05 => 208-205 = 3 lbs.
Total diet loss 18 weeks to date => 240-205 = 35 lbs.
Average weekly loss over 18 weeks = 1.9 lbs per week.

Off the Plateau:

After losses of 1, 1, zero: Cut popcorn in half. Increased exercise to include exercise bike in morning, walking in evening. Bingo

SW