Daily Inventory - Owning my choice

STEP 4 ENCOUNAGEMENT - Owning my choice.

I don’t have to live with my wife. No ifs ands or buts about it. I am free to choose. In fact, I am choosing at this very moment.

I would survive without her. She would survive without me. The kids would survive even if I leave. I cannot make this about them. Blaming them because I am “stuck” is just plain denial.

If my wife was a love machine pumping out love 24/7 at 10,000 gallons a minute...

IT WOULD NEVER FILL ME...
BECAUSE I HAVE HOLES.


Until I deal with the holes, I will remain empty, starving, desperate and addicted to my unhealthy coping mechanisms.

I’VE GOT TO DEAL WITH THE HOLES!
God gave me a free will. I choose to be in a relationship or I choose not to be. If I feel force in a relationship, I may choose to resist, yield or get out of the way. But every moment, I am choosing.

GOD promises to give ME all I need... when I am obedient! He doesn't promise to magically change her into my "Stepford Wife."

I'm not a CR because of my wife! I'm here because of the way I treat her and allow her to treat me!

CONCLUSION


I HAVE TO OWN IT! I have to decide to deal with my holes.
I HAVE TO OWN IT! I have to decide that until I deal with my holes that my relationships will be unsatisfying.
I HAVE TO OWN IT! I have to decide that I must look at my holes... to allow them to be seen... so that God may heal me.
SW

(NEXT: Taking ownership)