conflict vs consequences

irresponsible people are not changed by conflict. they are only changed by consequences. (paraphrase from Boundaries by Towsend)

wow... as a conflict avoider I am affected by conflict. conflict is a consequence to me. so this is a big realization... that only confronting an irresponsible person will have little effect on their behavior... wow no wonder I get frustrated. finally working up the courage... finally, desperately... confronting confronting confronting ...but no changes (insanity?).

reminds me of something my dad told me "you always need an or else, not just a complaint." now I see what he meant. according to Townsend... the purpose of a confrontation is to inform... not to demand... what I will do when my minimum requirements (boundaries) are met and what I will do when they are not met. then allowing a totally free choice (the hard part).

I have found recently that by not taking responsibility for the other persons choice, to comply or not, has given me more freedom from the fear of confrontation. that’s a good thing. SW

40 days of basic
water: 2 cokes & a little morning coffee
(if they're there, i must drink them)
break: pastry (ouch)
lunch: hot dogs w/mustard & fruit (good)
dinner: 1/2 chicken breast, taders & veggies (v.good)
no snacks (excellent)
overall food:(i will create a fail safe environment this weekend)
exercise: short walk
sleep 1130p-715a
scripture: job chp 1

"Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart. " Job 1:21
-- job never knew gods purpose. as in james our lives are like the morning mist, we cant see to far ahead, but never know what is in store... yet we do know because we have our faith.