LETTING THE CHIPS FALL

LETTING THE CHIPS FALL WHERE THEY MAY - DENIAL CHECK UP


Denial: Clinging to false beliefs

“I guess I’m just going to have to let the chips fall where they may.”

Well, duh!

The chips are actually the things that we cannot really control anyway. It’s a false belief. The idea that we can control how others react to our actions is vicious form of denial. It prevents us from doing what we know is the right thing to do. We believe that if we wait for the perfect circumstances we can get the perfect outcome. Worse yet, we bend ourselves into a pretzel, run around in circles or walk on eggshells in the belief that we can make everyone satisfied with every out come.

Who do you respect more?
· The man that does the right thing in a tough situation, OR
· The man that compromises what is right to keep a situation from getting tough.

We know the answer. Why can’t we do it? DENIAL.

We make excuses. “No. I can’t do that. She’d go ballistic.” “I already tried that. They just refused.” “She won’t understand. It would just kill her.” “I stuck it out because of the kids.” Self-sacrifice. Mercy. Generosity. Kindness. Peace. All are important, but never to be sacrificed for the truth. In fact they only exist in reality when based on the truth. Based on false beliefs all these virtues will become vices.

What are the consequences of our compromising of what is right to keep our chips from falling?

Depression, anger, loneliness, isolation, drugs, alcohol, sex, food, control, violence, divorce, incarceration?

Getting out of denial is a matter of life & death.

What are you trying to protect, what are you trying to save, by keeping the chips from falling where they may? Are you just holding them back for a bigger fall, one that will destroy what you are trying to save?


Breaking Denial

The first step is to identify and acknowledge our areas of struggle and determining our current beliefs about theses conflicts.

More about this in my next post.