I Am Not My Career

I think god is trying to tell me again... "You are not your career."

I must realize that "when I finally..." get back to work, all things won't suddenly be perfect... I must not fall into the "if only" trap regarding my career. Do I need to get back to work? Yes. Do I need to find something that uses my gifts and pleases god? Yes. Do I need to deal with the underlying issues that are preventing me from moving forward? Yes.

My new job is delivering delayed airline baggage to homes & hotels. I recently stopped at the Hyatt in Irvine to drop off a bag for 17 dollars. As I stood in the lobby I thought to myself, “With my abilities I could run this place. But here I am delivering luggage.” That is a lie. I must break my denial. I must admit that I am not ready for that type of responsibility, that I am not here by accident, and that God’s timing is perfect.

I must admit that I am not ready emotionally to begin working at my highest level. I am like a baseball pitcher recovering from an injury. I will need to pitch a few innings in the minors before I ready for the “Big Leagues” again.

My career is not me. In the past I have used my successes to avoid dealing with other issues. I allowed business success to set up expectations for my other relationships. These expectations were unrealistic and resulted in disappointment & resentment & stuffed feelings of frustration leading finally to depression.

"If only I can be successful at work I will be loved" was an unrealistic expectation.

This time around I want to offer my career up to god. I will not seek or expect love & approval as a result of my employment. I will not seek the appreciation of others as a reason to go to work or not go to work. I will work for an audience of one.

Thanks for letting me share. SW