Hope & Insanity

Walking on eggshells? Smashing Eggs? Why do I do it? In order to make an omelet, eggs must be broken but not wasted.

Jesus broke eggs. He cracked the hard outer shell of the worlds understanding and belief. He simply lived out his authentic self & the eggs of denial cracked against the edge of his immovable truth. He told it straight, knowing that his body would be broken and scrambled. But in the end he would rise like a wonderful shuffle using the malleable inner components of the love, casting aside the hard broken shell of false pride.

I have at times walked on eggshells. I have been unwilling to be who I really am for fear that my relationships would crack. Once I start denying who I am, I must become someone I am not. This is where my coping methods become habits and addictions. This is where I was cling to these behaviors, doing them over & over again until I had a dozen eggs juggling in the air, trying to please everyone but God & myself. Eventually the eggs of my relationships come crashing down, to my constant surprise; doing the same thing over & over again; expecting a different result; hoping that this time the eggs won’t break.

I have at times stomped on a carton of eggs. I have been unwilling to accept the way others react to the real me. Once I start denying who I am, I must be someone I am not. This is when I have acted out in anger, driving away the ones I love before I can be rejected. I have also acted out in a passive aggression, isolating and withdrawing as if to punish those who dare not to accept the real me. I have allowed others to provoke & manipulate my emotions and behaviors through their withholding of approval.

I will no longer base my behavior on what is acceptable to others. I will no longer expect anyone to approve of my actions. I will do as God requires, even if it breaks a few eggs.

I will now fully be the person God made me to be: The real Steve Wilson. If you like it, come along for the ride, consider yourself invited. If not, that’s your problem, deal with it! I am going to live for an audience of One. I will submit to His leading, through his word and the discipline of being a part of his body, the church.

I no longer need to hide in my habits and additions. I cast them aside like so many broken shells. I now seek to abide in Him. I’m going to get busy making that omelet that He has set out before me. So stand back... Bam! I’m going to kick it up a notch.

SW